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Chick tracts

I've been meaning to write about this for the last few weeks. Anybody remember those fantastic Chick tracts handed out during Halloween? For those not in the know, chick tracts are little bible pamphlets often left at bus stops and in phone booths. The idea is that random passers-by will pick them up, read, be convinced by a poorly-drawn comic book, and dedicate their souls to Jeebus. Halloween was another special night for witnessing.

I've never understood the point of giving these out on Halloween. First of all, what kid wants reading instead of candy? Granted, most smart givers would give both the tract AND candy, but I remember quite a few houses in which I got only the chick tract. Yeah, that will endear me to the cause. Second, keep in mind that no kid is going to read this in the dark while trick-or-treating. So if Halloween is some big, evil ritual that needs to be stopped, at the very earliest, most kids will only read this when they get home. If the chick tract scares them into holiness, how much do you bet it doesn't last more than a year with most kids? Right back to the Devil's birthday, next year, kiddies! Muh ha ha ha!

(click to enlarge images)




The above is one of the newer ones - I never actually got this one during Halloween, although my daughter might in the next few years. Note how cavalier Chick is about sending kids to hell. Sure, he's only 11, but since he didn't choose Jesus . . .



I actually do remember getting this one as a kid. Note how it not only treats Halloween as evil, but also ties it into the completely bogus paranoia about tainted candy.

My favorite part is how black and white Chick's worldview is. There are literally Satan worshipers living amongst us - probably that Stepfordish-looking woman on the corner. But don't worry, you can always tell who they are in advance, because they all have the same laugh. Chick used up his "haw haw" quota pretty early in this strip.

Halloween recap

Sorry for the lack of posting. I've been sick as a dog this entire month and I'm pretty sure it's currently the swine flu. This sucks because I didn't get my ideal "first Halloween" with Baby Charlie. She still did dress up, but I wasn't able to carry her because I didn't want to get her sick. My wife carried her around and we went to a grand total of 3 houses (pretty much the number I expected to go to).

My wife was extremely apologetic at every house we showed up at, "No, no, I'm aware that we're capable of buying our own candy. Heh heh, it's her first Halloween . . ." But seriously, my wife did a wonderful job, and I'm glad that one of us got to go with Baby Charlie for her first trick-or-treat. Pics of Charlie and my wife soon to follow. Pics of me and Baby Charlie once I'm no longer viral.

Haunt review: Darkwood Manor

Although it's not close, Darkwood Manor is easily the best haunt within driving distance of Roanoke. Five out of five stars.

I'll have to write this review carefully, because I don't want to give away any of Darkwood's surprises or tricks. But I can review it in generalized terms.

First, Darkwood is a good blend between well-trained actors and very detailed props. Even on the night when I attended, when they were low a few actors, they kept the scares coming at a pretty good clip. Second, the scares were varied - some were very tongue in cheek, others were very disturbing, many came out of nowhere, and all were well-executed (pun intended). Third, Darkwood's a great value for the money. Not only was I treated to a top-notch haunt, but the "pre-show" when waiting in line was very good (disturbing film reel and very talented line control actors), as well as paranormal investigators at the exit of the haunt. Finally, great ending! I won't spoil the surprise for you, but you'll know where the end is. It was impressive enough that I hung around for half a minute to watch it go. Highly recommended.

Next week - first view of Baby Charlie's costume!

updates and apologies

Apologies to my many, many readers for almost a month of absence! Once the school year starts up, my schedule gets chaotic. But trust me, I am thinking about Halloween near constantly. (promise!)

I've purchased the materials for the Baby Charlie costume and should put pics up as the costume progresses. I've found that unconventional costumes are easy to shop for at fabric shops, because you're often looking for ugly fabric that's on sale. I found a semi-suede dark brown for the alien skin and a pinkish, knotted fabric for the viscera of the "gore-hole". It was actually harder to find a good hoodie for Baby Charlie, but I think I found something that I can build the costume around - something that the ever-expanding baby from beyond won't outgrow within a month.

The marionette project is stalled and it looks unlikely that I'll have it up by Halloween, which is a shame. I got over a major technical hurdle this summer and I now have a working styrafoam turntable. But there were so many other parts to the contraption (let alone the marionette, itself!) that I would seriously need another summer to get anywhere on it. Maybe next year!

Luckily, a semi-decent Halloween store has opened in Roanoke - Spirit Halloween. They seem to have gotten the genius idea to cannibalize the corpse of old Circuit City stores. I don't doubt that they got a great deal. I hope I would be able to do something similar in the future, if I opened a haunt. A space like that would be perfect.

change of plans for baby charlie costume?

For those of you unfamiliar with the Baby Bjorn baby carrier, it's like a harness that straps a baby to your front. Baby Charlie loves it, and is currently big enough to ride in it facing the same direction that I'm facing, about chest height. You see where I'm going with this, yes?

I got the idea for a hilarious baby/daddy combo costume today. We can re-enact the infamous scene from Alien, with me playing the part of poor Kane and Baby Charlie being the chest-burster! Tell me that doesn't rock! Charlie's costume would actually be simpler to make, as all I'd have to do would be to make a tight-fitting alien "hoodie" for her, because only the upper half of her body would be showing. My own costume could be very simple - throwaway clothes from Goodwill with gore around the chest hole.

Seems a shame to give up flying monkey, though. Although I could always do that next year, but she'll definitely be too big for baby bjorn, then.

Howl-o-scream 2009 (tampa)

Holy crap, this looks awesome!



I've been to both the Tampa and Williamsburg Howl-o-screams at their respective Busch Gardens. And while Williamsburg is very good (and close), Tampa is phenomenal. They (both) have such a fine attention to detail, a dark but cheeky sense of humor, and a mastery of timing and atmosphere. Think about how often Disney rolls out a new ride; it's positively glacial. Howl-o-scream reinvents itself EVERY year and it does it very well.

I'm guessing that Williamsburg is a little more kid-oriented (starts during daylight, doesn't go as late, haunts aren't as dark) because the park has been in operation longer and has more of a reputation as family-friendly. Don't get me wrong - there's nothing wrong with that. I have a young one, and I'd certainly want her to have fun with Halloween on her first few experiences. So I can definitely see taking Baby Charlie to Williamsburg in a few years. Tampa wouldn't be until (much) later.

The Tampa Busch Gardens is newer, and I think they must have planned for a more adult demographic when designing not just the park, but especially Howl-o-scream. The whole campaign is very slick, very professional - the website does a great job rescuing vampires from the Twilight-inspired wussiness they've gone through in recent years without ugging them out like some have done in recent years.

I really wish I could go to Tampa this year - all of the haunts look fantastic, especially the Nightshade Toy Factory.